Essence of Inspiration
by tinkerbaby466
Summary: I felt like flying or floating on thin air. Tingles shattered my thoughts and made shivers run up my spine. Blankness. His lips felt warm against mine but yet I still didn’t feel right, twisted ….
1. chapter 1

ESSENCE OF INSPIRATION  
  
A/n - Hello all you beautiful readers! This is my first fic… So be easy on me okay! *smiles* You don't know how happy I am to finally put this fic up! I have been writing and writing… Thanks to all the people who have WAITED soooo long J A special thanks to my good friend Shana, I luv ya much girly! Thanks for helping me with this fic! Okay, enough of me……… *giggles*  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own anything! Everything (Mostly) is owned by the greatest Meg Cabot!  
  
Suze POV --   
  
WHY DOES MY LIFE HAVE TO SUCK! How come I was the "chosen" one. I never asked to be the mediator. I never asked for all this crazy s**t and drama in my life. The beach is the only place I can get away from my hectic life , to watch the sunset and relax. Even though they still find me there….the ghosts that is.   
  
So I was sitting there all alone thinking to myself why my life seems to be getting worse and worse. Life seemed much easier before I discovered my so called "gift". So much has been going on that I can't seem to explain in words… Its just too hard to explain much at all. Underneath it all, I try to find time to myself, and not have to worry about some ghost's big whiney problem. I am literally getting sick of it. Especially after what happened last April. Shivers run down my body as memories flood my head…Here is how the oh soOo great beginning went down…  
  
*****Flash back*****  
  
"Jesse…" I stated in a soft whisper as Jesse stopped kissing me abruptly and lifted his head so I looked strait into his deep brown eyes. His gentle touch was all I needed that very moment. We had been together in the cemetery that night enjoying much of each others company, and often engaging in some occasional, and definitely enjoyable lip action.   
  
  
  
"Querida, are you okay?" Jesse asked with such a sweet concern.   
  
I felt as though we finally understood each other, and I hoped he felt as much about me as I did about him. I felt like opening all my thoughts and feelings I have kept inside about him and just spilling everything.   
  
"Yes I am fine but, please, tell me if this is true, do you Lov.."   
  
I turned my head to see, none other than Adam, standing there looking pretty angry, plus totally ruining my special moment with Jesse.  
  
"Suze! I have been looking all over for you! Where have you been? Cee Cee is having a freaking Aneurysm because you left the Cannoli table 'unattended'!" adding a quite funny finger gesture quoting what obviously Cee had been saying.   
  
" And, were you just talking to that tree right there? I think you need serious help if you say yes Simon.."   
  
"No bozo I was not talking to the tree! I just need.. umm.. A few minutes alone, is that okay with you? I said.  
  
" Geez, ok, Just make sure you get back to your station before Cee Cee goes Freddy vs. Jason on me AND you ok?"  
  
"Ok Adam…" I said with a half smirk half smile on my face as I watched him leave the cemetery and take the path back up towards the festival area.   
  
I glanced over my shoulder to see Jesse's slight glimmer fading as he whispered quite sexily into my ear with a quick peck on the cheek, "Talk to you in a while Susannah" and dematerialized.   
  
" I love you too Jesse" I said, but he was already gone.   
  
What I didn't know was that, that was just the beginning of my crumbling life's story. 


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
A/n- Hey! You guys are awesome! Thanks for reviewing! SoOo whatcha all think bout that first chapter? Don't worry, I really got something DEEP coming up snickers… You will just have to R & R till then! (Aren't I evil!) Also, Sorry about that short first chapter… :D It will get better.. I pRoMiSe.. So okay, here is the second chappie! And remember… ReViEw please! I wanna get at least 5 more :P Oh ya.. One more thing.. I hope you all figured this fic takes place AFTER the book Haunted.   
  
Suze POV --  
  
I got up from where Jesse left me when a sudden gust of wind swept past. I shivered under my thin sweater and started taking the path back up to the festival. When I reached my table I saw Suze standing there trying to hand out a cannoli to a screaming little kid.   
  
I turned around to try to avoid her when I heard her say " Suze, where are you going?!" I swiftly turned back around and looked at my albino crème colored, but very pretty, friend Cee Cee looking at me with her sparkly violet eyes and hands on her hips.   
  
" Oh, me?" I said. Which wasn't the best thing to say to her at that particular moment.  
  
After the festival I had to listen to her long lecture about " responsibility". I told her I was sorry and needed to get on home for dinner. We quickly cleaned up our area, I said bye to Cee and that I would call her later, and caught up with Adam for my ride.   
  
" So did she smash you!?" Adam said sarcastically as we were walking to the parking lot.   
  
" No Adam, she didn't 'smash' me.."   
  
" Oh okay…. Well.. You still want a ride home right? I could…"  
  
Someone tugged at my jacket sleeve.   
  
"Hello there Suze" Said a distinct voice I recognized behind me As.. None other than Paul. I felt the tingles… cold as ice start rising up my back. I didn't want to turn around, but I knew that if I didn't, he would just torture me more. So, sullenly, I turned around and saw him. Standing there. I never wanted to look into his deep blue eyes again. He was donned with his usual, fine fitting blue jeans and a silk T which DEFINETLY showed off his hard abs. SHUT IT SUZE! DON'T THINK LIKE THAT! It was cruel to even look at him anymore. And he clearly knew it, as his.. Ooo.. So well known smile spread across his face. GRrR.. I thought I got rid of him on our last encounter. He always was known for coming back for more, am I right?!   
  
" P-Paul" I said. " Umm I have to go um home now um so um I will talk to you later I guess" OoO I know… please don't ask me why I didn't go off on him right then.. I just… couldn't… a weird feeling… came over me….. I cant explain.   
  
"You don't want me to give you a ride home? I need to talk to you" Paul stated.  
  
" Actually, Adam is going to give me a ride" I shivered again as another breeze swept past. I don't know what Adam was thinking right about then, but I just REALLY wanted to get out of there.   
  
I don't really like being the center of attention believe it or not. Its not like I WANTED to kick that chair out from under Kelly Prescott at the festival! She was pissing me off really BAD! It wAs really funny though! But that's another story.   
  
"Well come on Adam my mom is going to be pissed if I am not home in the next five minutes" I said as I grabbed Adam's arm and strode over to his car.   
  
" Okay then, bye Susannah, Call you later" I heard Paul say under the sudden roar of the car's engine. My mouth must have hung WAY open right about then. I couldn't believe Paul let me leave without a fight. FISHY 0.o   
  
We rode home in silence. I didn't really feel like talking anyways, I had a really weird feeling in my stomach. We pulled up to my house and I got out, almost without saying good bye. HEY I had a lot of things on my mind. For one, I was thinking about me and Jesse. For two, I was thinking up an explanation for how weird Paul was acting. It was really strange for Paul to be acting, Well , NICE.   
  
I walked into the house, really tired, when my mom said " Hey there Suzie honey, why don't you come and have some dinner".   
  
" Naw that's okay Mom I aint really hungry so I am just going to go upstairs and go to sleep" I responded.   
  
" Okay honey, I was just going to ask you how was the festival and.. Some news"  
  
"News?"   
  
" Yes, guess what Andy got!"  
  
"Umm what?"  
  
" Two travel tickets!"  
  
"To where?"  
  
"Maui!, for our anniversary! Isn't he thoughtful Suze?!"  
  
"Wow mom, that's great, Can I talk to you tomorrow about it? I don't feel so hot."   
  
"Okay honey, Good night."   
  
" Night"  
  
I strode up to my bed room and slowly opened the door. It opened with a creak and I shuddered. I stuck my head in and Jesse, to my surprise, wasn't sitting on the window sill. "Phew" I whispered to myself.  
  
But then I wondered if he was already getting ready to move to the rectory. Or, did he already leave? No.. he wouldn't do that to me.. He would be back soon… I hoped… I had just.. Talked to him… plus he already knew I was depressed about the whole 'him moving' idea. It wouldn't be right…  
  
So that's when I slumped onto my comfy bed and drifted into a rather.. Restless sleep.   
  
Droning footsteps. Darkness. Misty fog. Stars sparkling faintly overhead.   
  
I surely must have know where I was then. Shadowland of course, but not exactly the happiest dreamland if I must say so myself.   
  
I was walking down the hallway looking strait ahead, strangely not looking down or to the side, just strait forward. It seemed like I had been walking for hours, until I finally hit a dead end.   
  
A DEAD END?!? I thought Shadowland NEVER ended…… 0.o  
  
It was like shadowland just, stopped. It was no more hallway. I was just looking out into, what it seemed like space. Maybe more like a clear wall. But strangely, there was a colorful crystal, about the size of my head, swirling in mid air. Maybe that was the light at the end of the hall that I had always dreamt about.   
  
(a/n: SINGS - There's a light at the end of the tunnel, ya! :P)  
  
All I knew was I was looking into it when someone walked up behind me.   
  
"It isn't just a crystal, no one really knows what it is" The voice said. I couldn't quite figure out who it was talking. It was a strange voice, sort of familiar.   
  
"I know what the secret is, look into it, fix your mind onto it" He said again.   
  
I looked at the, space and crystal, when it began to spin faster. Around and around it turned until it hurt my eyes to look at it's reflecting light. I somehow turned my head a bit to see the face of the person who had been talking to me, but no one was there. I shivered. I faced the crystal once again and instead saw a picture of Paul.   
  
He was sitting on the beach, looking innocent enough, staring out into the rolling waves. He had a look on his face, He looked like he was thinking about something, like something was deeply on his mind.   
  
Then the image changed. I saw Jesse. He looked really terrible… like really depressed, almost like he was about to cry. He was slumped in a chair, I couldn't tell where he was, but It hurt me so bad to look at him like this. I felt like I had just gotten stabbed in the heart. I didn't know why he was so sad. A tear gently rolled down my cheek. I needed to be with him…to help him out… I didn't even know why he was so sad, but STILL made me HURT! That's how MUCH I love this guy!   
  
I didn't have a chance to find out why exactly why he was acting like that….. Because as I was staring, I felt a strong, firm hand, push me strait into the darkness.   
  
………….Good has lost its heart……….. 


	3. chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
a/n- Hey there! Sorry I haven't updated in a LoNg time. To be honest, I have been very lazy! :D Well nothing much to say besides the fact that my plot should be really coming out in the next chapter or 2. I will shut up now so read on…. O and review plz…  
  
Suze POV-  
  
"Oh my god!"   
  
I sat up on my bed with a jolt. My heart was thumping so fast I felt it was going to burst. My head ached and I felt dizzy. I quickly snatched up my phone and dialed Father Doms number.   
  
It rang for a while until I finally heard Father's calm, but tired voice. (it was around 3 in the morning)   
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Father Dom!" I gasped into the receiver.  
  
"Why yes Susannah? Are you alright?" he said.   
  
"Yeah um no… I just had a dream… and It didn't make any sense…"  
  
"Well Susannah…Sometimes dreams don't always make much sense" he said jokingly.   
  
"I know that! But ugh…"  
  
I clutched my aching head with my free hand.   
  
"The dream…wait, it wasn't a dream because I felt my presence there.. I was in Shadowland…Paul and Jesse… Were in it…and… Jesse… he was all sad and crying, and Paul…He was thinking about something…Father Dom, what if he's planning something, or wor…"  
  
"Susannah!… relax! You were talking so fast I could barley understand a word you said… It could have all been a dream and you are merely scaring yourself"  
  
"No its not… AcK! My head hurts so bad…Like when you shift. I went to shadow land..while I was asleep.. I don't understand…" I tightly held my pillow close to my chest in my arms.  
  
"Susannah this is all a misunderstanding you just need to calm down and get back to sleep…goodness! its almost 3o'clock in the morning!…I will talk to you tomorrow"   
  
"But…"  
  
-Click-   
  
I heard him hang up the phone.   
  
Hmm. Maybe I was just overreacting… Father Dom was right. I shouldn't worry………i was just over reacting…. and I drifted back to sleep.  
  
………Susannah…Suze?   
  
I fluttered open my eyes and I saw Paul standing there looking over me.   
  
"What!" I gasped.  
  
As soon as I sat up I saw Jesse instead.   
  
"Wow I am losing my mind" I said as I gently fell back into the covers.   
  
"Susannah what are you doing still asleep? Its time to go to your school…Your classes are starting in a half hour"  
  
"Okay Jesse thanks..Gimme a few minutes" I still wasn't feeling very well.  
  
I slumped off my bed, walked over to my dresser, and pulled out jeans and a T-shirt. I brushed my teeth ( did all of that morning stuff, make-up etc.). I walked out of my bathroom brushing my hair when I saw Jesse sitting there, seemingly fine, reading one of my fashion magazines.   
  
Wait… back up… Jesse, reading a cosmo. Magazine?!? Woah. You know, it isn't normal when Jesse picks up my, as he calls them, "Ridiculous piece of commentary brainwashing young girls minds" and reads it. No way!   
  
"Jesse? Are you reading my magazine?" I said.   
  
"Oh well, there was nothing else on your shelf to read"  
  
"Alllrighty then… Jesse, are you, feeling okay?"   
  
" Yes Susannah, why do you say that?" he said  
  
"Oh…nothing…its just…never mind." I didn't know to just tell him about my dream, or, maybe it wasn't important enough to tell him about it.  
  
"Well I am going to go now.. And Jesse.." I said.  
  
"Yes Susannah?"   
  
"Be careful okay?" I added.  
  
"Yes of course quer.. quer.. Querida"  
  
We stared at each other for a couple moments until I left the room. I walked into the kitchen when I saw my mom sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper.   
  
"Hello there Susie honey, the boys are getting ready, they got a late morning start too so why don't you sit down, I have something to talk to you about"  
  
I grabbed a pop tart and sat down at the table across from my mom.   
  
"Well, like I said yesterday, Andy and has gotten 2 tickets to Maui for our anniversary!" She said with a smile.   
  
"That's cool mom"  
  
"Well I was thinking, who would stay to, well, watch over you kids while we were gone"  
  
"I can watch myself mom, I don't need a babysitter" I said.  
  
" I Know that honey but, I just cant do that…So Andy and I have decided to have the boy's aunt Deborah to come watch you all"   
  
"Aunt Deborah!! Oh mom, please no, that's torture, she doesn't let us do anything when she comes" I said with shock  
  
"Well honey you remember what happened LAST time we left, Brad practically destroyed the house with his little party bash" She said with that serious/'don't mess with me today' look.  
  
"Suze! You ready to go!" Jake said pounding down the stairs with his car keys in hand "Brad!"   
  
"Coming! Don't get your tighty whities in a twist!" Brad said behind him.  
  
I got up from where I was sitting and grabbed my things. I gave my mom 'the look' and followed Jake and Brad outside to the car.   
  
I looked up to the cloudy sky and wondered what this day would bring….   
  
I swear I heard the wind whisper... 


End file.
